


Boys and Their Toys

by Energon_with_a_Curly_Straw



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dildos, Fantasizing, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Riding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27943196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Energon_with_a_Curly_Straw/pseuds/Energon_with_a_Curly_Straw
Summary: Pure shameless smut. Four unconnected stories of 'the Boys From the Dwarf' having some self-satisfaction with dildos. Each chapter focuses on a different member masturbating.Chapter one: While Lister's out drinking with his mates, Rimmer tries to de-stress by indulging in one of his most secret pleasures.
Relationships: Arnold Rimmer/Frank Todhunter, Arnold Rimmer/various male characters, Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	Boys and Their Toys

There were few indulgences Rimmer allowed himself; the occasional chocolate, the odd smoke. But there was one particular treat Rimmer would never let anybody know about. 

He'd been thinking about this all day. Lister was going out drinking with his mates, and wouldn't be home until the early hours when he was well and proper drunk. Rimmer had the whole evening to do as he pleased. 

Studying for Astronav was stressful, and Lister had been grating on his nerves more and more with each passing shift. He needed something to take the edge off- something to help him relax. 

Rimmer pulled out a shoe-sized box labeled ‘Anton Bruckner: collection 3-5’. Inside, wrapped in a washing cloth, lay a dildo. It was smooth and curvaceous with a wide, flared base. Only the highest quality silicone and a beautiful light blue- he’d spent days reading reviews to find the perfect one. 

And god, it was perfect. 

Rimmer triple checked the door was locked before stripping off his regulation uniform. Hands ghosted along his chest, barely grazing his nipples. Smeg, he was already hard. He traced a finger along the outside of his boxer-briefs, which were now feeling rather tight, before pulling them down and placing them neatly with the rest of his folded attire. 

He sat on the bed and ran his hands gently along his thighs. Rimmer stayed like this for a moment, enjoying the sensations on sensitive skin- ignoring the places that longed to be touched. Finally he relented and delicately stroked fingers along the length of his cock, gasping at the stimulation. He thumbed his slit, fighting to keep the touches light- he had plans for tonight. 

Rimmer poured lube out a small, nondescript bottle and coated his fingers. He traced a line along his member, over his balls, and down his crack. He circled around his rim and bit back a moan. His cock twitched in anticipation. 

The finger around his ring gave pressure, while the other hand came down to fondle his sack. Rimmer forced himself to relax as the digit slipped slowly inside. It had been a long while since he’d indulged like this, he’d need to take his time. 

The finger sunk further in until it reached the third knuckle. He began working it in and out, precum beaded at the tip of Rimmer’s prick. 

Soon, Rimmer added a second finger, twisting and scissoring as he continued his intrusions, brushing along a spot that had him seeing stars. He suppressed a whimper, sensitive nerves alight for the first time in- smeg, when had he done this last? Rimmer began giving gentle kisses around the tip of the dildo, swirling his tongue around the soft silicone before taking it in his mouth. 

No one could ever know he had this- he’d be the laughing stock of the whole ship! ‘Arnie the Asshole liked taking it up the bum’ they’d say! He’d never get that promotion to officer! Unless…

Images flooded his mind: sucking the Captain’s cock before being buggered in the captain’s chair, using that desk for something more sinful than paperwork. Rimmer’s member throbbed. He’d make bloody lieutenant commander for that!

A third finger was added to the pair, and soon Rimmer was bucking back onto them with fervour. His cock drooled, arousal clouding his mind. God, he needed it now!

Rimmer removed his fingers with a mewl. He placed the dildo upright on the bed and repositioned himself above it. More lube, then he angled the toy towards his wanting hole and eased down. Oh, smeg- it was _good_. The stretch burned in that heavenly way. Toes curled, the feeling in his belly taut. Rimmer grabbed at his shaft as he took as much of the false phallus inside him as he could. 

It felt so _good_ . He felt so _full_. The sensations overwhelmed him as orgasm suddenly wracked through him, muscles clenching around the toy in a truly divine fashion. Hot seed spilled over his hand. 

As Rimmer’s body began to relax from its release, he sunk further down the dildo in a deliciously obscene way. He took a minute to catch his breath. 

He slowly rose up till only the tip of the toy remained inserted, before easing all the way back down. He did it again, gently rolling his hips as he repeated the action. Rimmer’s erection began to return; bundles of nerves brushed against the delicate curves of his little blue friend. Rimmer threw his head back as little sighs escaped his lips, allowing himself to drift back into his fantasies. 

MacIntyre would be gentle. He’d have Rimmer in his lap, facing a mirror. He’d spread Rimmer’s thighs and force him to watch as MacIntyre’s cock disappeared in and out of his twitching hole, aggravatingly slow. He’d kiss his subordinate’s back, telling him what a good boy he was. Rimmer would beg him to go faster, but MacIntrye would only chuckle, keeping at the same pace as he kissed away the tears. 

The head of the toy nudged Rimmer’s prostate, causing his breath to hitch. He rubbed and squeezed at his nipples. Soft noises escaped his lips that he did his best to quiet- he didn’t want to get into trouble if someone heard him.

Todhunter. Smeg, Todhunter would be rough, wouldn’t he? He’d bend Rimmer over his knee and spank him until his ass was red and sore, member twitching and drooling. He’d make Rimmer suck him- fingers embedded in his hair, thrusting into his mouth. Todhunter would demand Rimmer ride his cock like a dirty slut- and Rimmer gladly would. 

Rimmer was moaning now. He didn’t care- every thrust pressed against that magic cluster of nerves. Pre-cum dripped from the tip of his member as he bucked wildly. 

Who else? Lister. Lister would greedily fuck any hole he could- why not Rimmer’s? Lister would throw him on the bed, chest to the mattress, yanking down his trousers. He’d rip off his briefs, not caring about how much it cost or how the loss of the undergarment would _mess up his system, dammit_. Lister would spread Rimmer’s cheeks, licking and sucking at his most intimate spot, flicking his tongue in and out. Then, right when Rimmer was on edge, he’d stop. Lister would have that stupid, smug look on his face, too. He’d shove his fat cock in Rimmer’s ass until he couldn’t think- until the only thing that existed was the oversized appendage splitting him open, chasing its own pleasure. 

Rimmer pumped his cock erratically. A white heat coiled inside, Tightening and tightening until it finally snapped, sending him over the edge with a cry. Stars plucked at his vision. Insides spasmed around the toy again, shuddering in pleasure. Cum splashed on his abdomen, on his sheets, as he stroked himself through the waves of euphoria. 

When his breathing had finally settled, Rimmer pulled out the dildo, whimpering at the sudden feeling of emptiness. He collapsed back on the bed, thighs burning from the strain. 

Smeg, he needed to do this more often. 

Rimmer showered and cleaned everything up, replacing the soiled sheets with fresh ones. He wrapped the dildo in a cloth and tucked it back into the box. Everything was as it was before he’d started. All except that Rimmer was now relaxed and sated. 

If Lister noticed Rimmer’s face was flushed when he’d drunkenly stumbled back to their room later that night, he didn’t mention it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Look, all I'm saying is that with McIntyre being Rimmer's direct supervisor, Rimmer would definitely want to fuck him. Boy has an authority kink for sure.
> 
> This is my first time writing porn, but man- when you open up that can of worms, there's no going back. Thoughts and ideas flooded into my brain like wow.
> 
> Hey, it's short, it's porn, there will be more.


End file.
